I’m having a little meltdown right now. Fidgety, kind of sweaty (like always), nervous…
I really REALLY want sugar.
(We are NOT doing Whole 30. While I’m sure it would be helpful and change my life and all that lovely stuff that goes on the dust jacket of the book, I like ice cream and cookies too much to go completely cold turkey. Perhaps in the future we’ll address this again?)
I hate this feeling. I hate being a slave to my diet, knowing that all I need to do is just eat a Reese’s or three. That would soothe the savage beast and let me concentrate for a bit. But that’s the problem…it’s just for a bit. It will come back. And I’ll be faced with the same dilemma, the same problems…give in and be at peace (and unhealthy) or suffer through it in the hopes things will get better.
Here’s the kicker though: I know it will get better. It’s not a hope…it’s a proven fact. I’ve done this before. You’ll notice that my tracker at the top is back to Day 1. I’m restarting because its not fair to say I’m on day 1000something or other. I’m doing this again, and I’m hopefully going to do it better than ever, learning from the past.
That’s why I say renaissance. This is hopefully a rebirth, a new version of me that honors the classics, makes them into something new and different, and inspires me and my family into a healthier future. I want Declan to have an active daddy. I want Abby to have a strong and healthy husband. And I want Baby Doofus (#BabyDoofus) to not know fat me. He/She (we find out tomorrow!) will know a healthy, active daddy who wants to play at the park and run around and not be jittery because of sugar withdrawal. So please, pray for Abby and #BabyDoofus.
Pray for me. Support me by asking the tough questions, by calling me out when I do something dumb. Here are the rules I’ve set up for myself:
- Cheat day is a thing. But its cheat day, not cheat week. I get one. If you see me doing something stupid, and you know its been used up, call me out.
- Cheat day may or may not entail dessert and soda. I’m allowing myself one soda and one dessert a week. If I save it for cheat day, then great. If not, then I get tea or water and I’ll like it.
- Exercise is going to be hard. With Declan and my schedule, finding time to be alone is almost impossible. And Doofus won’t make it better. But I need to figure it out, so I’m committing to exercise three days a week. Might be a walk, might be kettle bells while watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but three times of SOMETHING.
So there we go. Three rules. Five months to Doofus. My goal is to lose 15 pounds by the time Doofus makes its arrival into this world. I’m currently at 265, which for those of you who paid attention last time, yes. It’s sad. I failed pretty miserably. But that’s what rebirth is for right?
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new is here!”
Have a good one.