I appreciate how certain people are just wired to do certain things. Jordan was born to cook. My friends Lauren and Scott were born to be doctors. Abby was born to be an optometrist. They just knew, from a very young age, what they wanted/were called to do, and they went out and did it. I found my passion a little bit later than they did, but whenever I have the chance to indulge in it, I always come away challenged, uplifted, and blessed.
Even when that reason is vomit.
Jason decided to contract a little stomach bug today, so coupled with the blood drive we had going on in the youth room, class was 100% me today. I would like to think that I did a good job and that we were able to walk through some really important issues, but I always second guess myself and leave feeling like I could have done more/better. I think thats the sign of a true calling…you never rest in the pursuit of doing better. Then tonight at Life Group I tried something a little bit different, got thrown off by a comment I completely misinterpreted, got stuck in the realization that some things just don’t have happy, uplifting bows on them (which is totally fine…the gospel isn’t here to make us feel warm and fuzzy) and came out the other side unscathed. I think.
We talked about being zealous…the whole-hearted, extreme devotion to something. In Numbers, Phinehas is lauded by God for his zeal in pursuing God’s honor. In Judges, Jephthah suffers great loss for his misplaced zeal. The contrast is stark…one man follows God with reckless abandon, and the other seems to pull back and focus on himself too much, as if he can’t quite give everything to God (even though the irony is rich with that statement. Read Judges 11:21-40 if you’d like to know why).
I think these stories struck me today because I know, with my heart of hearts, what God wants me to do. I know what He wants me to pursue. The issue lies in getting there…how zealous should I be? When do I pull back and cover my bases and when do I attack with everything I’ve got?
I pray that the next couple of weeks reveal answers and clarity…a direction if you will. I think I have some zeal that needs an outlet.
Breakfast–BLUEBERRY BUCKLE. Aw yeah.
Lunch–Gringos with Leah (here’s your shout-out), Brady, the Monsees, and sick Toy. He was wearing a green shirt and his face matched. No bueno. I had fajitas. They were bueno.
Dinner–Frito Pie at life group, courtesy of the Britts. And tie-dye rainbow cake for Casey’s birthday!
No clue about tomorrow. Hoping something happens.
Happy Birthday Casey! And Mally! And Sarah! And Sam! (Big day for birthdays…kind of weird.)
Have a good one.