Last night driving home from San Antonio, Abby and I saw the strangest thing I’ve laid eyes on in a while. The moon, hovering just above the horizon, had acquired a reddish tint from the dust in the air and appeared to have a hump extending from its side. Now, in full disclosure, we were both very tired, but through cloud cover or distortion in the air or something, the normally rounded moon looked more like a pig’s snout. As we drove on the coloration and distortion disappeared, leaving us with a run of the mill moon guiding us home. I’ve seen the moon thousands of times; on different continents, at varying altitudes, in different colors, sizes, and shapes, and yet last night’s version is going to stick with me for a while. It was something definitively normal, made special by circumstances both explicable and inexplicable. It’s also the trigger for a big change.
Shortly after the celestial beacon reverted back to normal we were greeted by more lights, this time behind us. I don’t claim to be a normal driver. I drive fast, and I feel like I drive well, even if it causes some passengers (and road co-habiters) to think otherwise. That being said, you can’t drive by a policeman going 16 over and get away with it. I know this, and I deserved the ticket. It was stupid. The weird part is that even as I knew–and I mean I KNEW–I deserved it, I couldn’t stop myself from arguing. Not disrespectfully, not demonstratively, but I still argued. My body formed words as my mind was screaming “what are you doing?!” I’m lucky it didn’t turn out much, much worse.
This unfortunate phenomenon has happened with alarming regularity recently. In conversations with Abby, my parents, my friends, even strangers I’m afraid, I feel myself constantly on edge, irritated, arguing, and generally being a total jerk. It’s tempting and easy to blame it on stress from the move, from not having a job, from trying to live life while waiting on others who are holding us back, but its not fair. Those are temporary distortions, turning a normal moon (or life) into something unique and altogether beautiful, and I haven’t taken advantage of it. Soon enough, my life will be “normal” and I’ll miss those days where I looked at it as an adventure and something to be appreciated. I need to appreciate the things I have, the people around me, and the position God has put me in. I can’t profess my faith and not have an absolute trust in Him that things will be okay. Those ideas don’t jive.
So here’s to the Frankenmoon…a fleeting, beautiful, haunting image of how something we take for granted everyday can change in an instant into something extraordinary. You have two choices: get mad it doesn’t look like it always does, or enjoy it for what it is.
I want to enjoy this life.
“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.” Psalm 28:7